


Hows and Whys

by pocky_slash



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-08
Updated: 2010-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-04 11:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/393606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/pseuds/pocky_slash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being with Gwen is easy in a way that being with Jack will never be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hows and Whys

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you can't sleep, so you get out of bed and write something bizarre about Ianto and Gwen. With gratitude and affection for [](http://solsticezero.livejournal.com/profile)[**solsticezero**](http://solsticezero.livejournal.com/) who essentially let me write this to her over IM.

Being with Gwen is easy in a way that being with Jack never will be. That's not to say that being with Jack _isn't_ easy--there are times when it feels more natural, more instinctive, than anything else he's ever experienced. But Jack in and of himself is a twisted enigma and even when they're doing nothing more than sitting on the couch and watching a film, part of Ianto's mind wanders to _immortal_ and _timeless_ and he's reminded that Jack is like nothing he's ever known.

Gwen is the opposite. Gwen is everything he's ever known. Gwen is a half-dozen girls he grew up with, girls who talked rugby and terrible films and boyfriend drama. When Gwen is drunk and shouting at the ref when they're watching a match at the pub, Ianto sometimes forgets that he ever left Wales, that he ever joined Torchwood. It's like he's still in school and while that's a generally horrifying thought, having Gwen smack his arm and gesture at the television makes him forget that.

"What do you and Gwen do?" Jack asks him one night. His head is resting on Jack's stomach and Jack's fingers are winding through his hair and they're both entirely naked. He'd wonder why Jack is thinking about what he and Gwen do, but his brain feels soft and spongy thanks to Jack's earlier ministrations, and it's easier to just tell the truth.

"Go to the pub," he murmurs into the warm skin of Jack's stomach. "Watch films. Talk. Drink. Same things I do with you." Jack laughs, low and dark, and it rumbles through Ianto as well. "Some of the same things," he amends, pressing a kiss to Jack's navel. "S'different."

"Different how?" Jack asks.

"It just is," Ianto says.

Jack hums in a way that Ianto knows means he's mulling over something, but Ianto is too tired to mind. Jack is curious, maybe, and jealous, definitely, and he'll probably try to pry more information out of Ianto, but there's nothing more to say. Ianto doesn't understand it. Gwen is everything he left behind when he ran to London without looking back. He shouldn't want to be with her, but he does. It's like coming home. It's like a tiny sliver of normality in a world where aliens are out to get him and his boyfriend comes back from the dead about once a week. Gwen and her too-loud laughter and her fondness for cheap lager and the way her accent gets thick when she's happy or drunk.

It's like coming home in different ways, too, in ways that are foreign after a childhood set apart from his father and sister. It's a hug when he needs one and won't admit it and someone to wipe spaghetti sauce off his chin. It's someone who asks him about his day and is honestly curious about the answer, who teases him about Jack and listens to him when he needs to vent. Maybe that's why he likes Gwen so much. Maybe he's trying to reclaim something he never had in the first place.

Or maybe he's just thinking too hard. Maybe Gwen feels right because she is right. Maybe all of her neuroses line up with all of his neuroses in a way that make their interactions smooth and warm and simple. Maybe she's just a good person. Maybe he's a better person than he thought.

Maybe he just needs to accept that sometimes easy is just easy, to stop analyzing and lean into the arm around his waist and the kiss against his temple and accept that he has Gwen and the hows and whys don't matter.


End file.
